Joey constantly tells me to be nicer to Brandon. Reminding me that “people can only handle so much” and will “choose to leave” if things don’t change. Thankfully, I haven’t been as cruel to him as I have been with my friends of at least 7 years standing. For many, many years, I believed they would put up with my baggage because “they know that that is just a part of who I am”. It wasn’t until Andrea lashed back.
She and I go way back, and it wasn’t until last year that we actually got to know one another- face to face. & through years of being fed up with other situations, she would not stand for another close friend of hers treating her like shit & expecting her to just take it. It was then that I realized I needed to change. I needed to better myself in order to maintain these friendships that have gotten me through the toughest times of my life. Another reminder happened recently, around Christmas. I am easily angered, and Mai spoke up about it for the first time ever in the seven long years of our friendship. I’m working on it.. & it isn’t easy. But I have acknowledged my flaws and I am not denying or condemning anybody for it.
People can only take so much. Mental abuse is just as painful as physical abuse. & while I can never bring myself to physically harm a friend, I know that my words can do just as much, if not more, damage. You’re responsible for your actions, your words, your behavior. Only you can administer them, and only you can make up for them. But until you’ve realized that you’ve done wrong, a friendship can end… These people in your life- whether it be your boyfriend/girlfriend, bestfriend, sister/brother… They’ve been through hell and back with you. They’ve held your hand (figuratively speaking) through all of life’s obstacles thus far.
Like it is with an intimate relationship- would you rather lose this person in your life or your ego/pride?
tags: late night reflections.